Nightime

These nights grow so long. Sleep an elusive thing that twists and turns like a twisty turny thing. Managing a few hours of actual REM time, but little else. Sleep deprivation is a harsh mistress. Everythings washed out and coffee stained. The place where normalcy exists, balanced forward thoughts, is long forgotten. This brain matter has rebelled. No amount of medication/meditation brings that once restful thing known as sleep. Seems to be growing worse as time progresses. Focus remains somehow. Possession of will makes all the difference. The real question is, can this be maintained? The answer has always been a great big capitol NO. Hasn't changed the nature of things though. In the dark moments, twisting in the grip of some creeping thing in the hiddy spots of the subconscious, time ceases to be and there is only that moment of frozen horror. An infinitesimal macro universe spins, huge and terrible. It seeps down into the quantum spaces between the protons. All the while it's just me, my mind, and the dark.